Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Winding Down

I'm less than two months away from when I leave Melbourne. As I wind down, I'm just... sad, I guess. I've thought a lot about whether or not I'd stay if I could. I'm not sure. It's a really hard question. Melbourne's been good to me. There's a lot of talk about the Festival, and I can't help feeling regret. I really wanted to do a show. I still have all the Post-It notes on my wall outlining which jokes I want to tell in what order. The situation is a bit retching for me, but also relieving. The thought of remaining in Melbourne for another 6 months straight, working at another job I hate is not something I want. I am still looking for a temporary job for the next 2 months. Another grand or two would really help my travel situation. Plus I can feel OK spending money on while I'm still here (i.e., drinking). And actually, I have been out drinking more lately. I think part of it is that I know A: time is limited, B: I spend my days at home trying to save money and feel like I need to go out, and C: just found people who have been out and want to be social. A lot of the time I've spent in this country has been solo. I don't regret that, it came with the territory of me moving to a brand new continent without knowing anybody, but the reasoning doesn't make it less lonely. My experience with traveling alone is that it's a world full of acquaintances, but few close friends. And maybe that's due to comedy. Looking back, there have been a lot of experiences I've had where fellow travelers, especially early on, have been going out to do something and I went to comedy instead. And comedy is a lot of acquaintances all hanging out. Obviously, there have ban really great times with comedy people, but it's also been a bit of being an outsider looking in. What's saddest is that just as I'm getting closer friends with people, I'm about to leave.

I'd like to think I'll come back to this post, but more than likely this'll be it. 10pm, 11/27/13

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