Impending Unknowns

I've been posting a lot lately. Well, writing a lot at least; I still have yet to post several that are already written but I didn't have internet at the time and forgot. I'll post them pretty soon.

What's going on for me now is an impending sadness. I have less than a month left in Melbourne and I don't know what to do with myself. I wrote on Facebook yesterday that I remembered produce is going to be sold by the pound instead of kilo and it was a huge revelation. There is going to be so much that's different. I'm scared and anxious. It's like I'm abandoning a part of my life that I've really come to appreciate. My move here wasn't like that; when I left the US I left something that I'd always had. Here, it's something I've found. My experience in Melbourne has been like a romantic relationship. At first it was new and exciting, then there were some ups and downs, and I became really sick of it. But now I'm past that. Melbourne is like someone with whom I've created a history, and now I have to break up with her. It's heart wrenching. Months ago I thought I wasn't too fond of her, but now it's like I can't think of a life without her. All of these truths that I've been putting off are growing, and it's at the point where I can't look away. I'm leaving Australia, against my will. The goal when I started out was to live here a year, get the experience, and go home back to essentially the life I had when I left. My plan was to get a political job for the upcoming election and keep plugging away at comedy, especially after election season. Now, it's like I don't know what I want anymore. It was a fairly brash decision that brought me here, and I can't really believe I made it. It's a horrible cliche, but I came to take a piece of Australia home with me, but Australia is keeping a part of me.

I'd like to think I'll be back, but I just don't know. I keep saying I'll be back for the 2015 MICF, but even that worries me. That's so far in the future; what if everything is different? What if I find somebody and settle down or something? What if I just can't take it any longer in the comedy world? What if I quit? What if when I come home I fall as far out of love with Melbourne as I did in love over the course of a year? I don't like these unknowns. I have friends here, a network, and a lifestyle. I don't know what happens next and I don't like being in the dark.

Sometimes I Just Feel Like Writing

12:30pm, 12/23/13
I'm at a neighborhood coffee shop/cafe. Realistically, it's more cafe than coffee shop, but there's waitstaff, which is atypical. The place is quaint, lots of wood and white paint. It's cloudy and drizzling, that kind of rain that it's not quite worth opening an umbrella, but enough that it's visible and your can feel it.

I don't have a specific reason for writing beyond just a feeling that I should. I can't shake the feeling that none of these posts accurately capture my life in its entirety, but each is just a portion. And that I'm a super huge wanker for trying to get philosophical.

I'm getting scared of what happens next. I only have just over a month left living in this city, I don't know what happens next. It's that fucking unknown that's bothering me. Not that it's all unknown; I know what life as a backpacker is like. I also know that I prefer life living in a house, and having a space of my own. Beyond the obvious interim period, I've actually been thinking a lot about what I want to happen when I get home. I'm not 100% sure what I'm going to do for a job when I get back, but I'm getting scared that comedy and politics are finally intersecting. What I'm alluding to is the Minnesota Fringe Festival that happens in early August, which is prime time for election season. In other words, if I do one, I necessarily cannot do the other. While it's the Fringe is definitely not a mandatory event, it's something that I have been planning on attempting as an approximation for the Melbourne Comedy Festival. I'm actually planning on applying for the Minnesota Fringe, since entry is granted via lottery in February. Really, I just don't want the preparation for the MICF to be a compete waste. But if I get a campaign job, that's what takes precedence.

That's not to imply that my time in Australia has been a waste, even comedically. I maintain that moving to Melbourne was one of the best (if not the outright best) decisions I've ever made. I think about what brought me here, and what I've accomplished. Clearly it's not the kind of a achievement that wins accolades; people move internationally all the time. What I'm really proud of is moving to a new country, making my way, meeting new people, and overall growing as a human being.

Still just Ju-wallowing in Eden Prairie...

It's a month before I leave for Australia, so I figured I should learn how to blog.

For those who don't know, I'm Dan Juola, and I'm moving to Australia. I will be chronicling the experience here. The name of this blog is a play on a common mispronunciation of my last name. It's pronounced like "jew-oh-luh", but I so commonly get the pronunciation "jew-ah-luh" that I don't even correct people anymore. Furthermore, it's Finnish, a language that I don't even speak, so who cares. Point is, when said quickly, it sounds kinda like "jew-walla", hence ju-wallowing. (hooray for explanations!)

Right now is a stressful time. The ticket from Las Angeles (did I spell that right? it doesn't look right...) to Melbourne is booked for February 20th. I still haven't looked into where I can live temporarily once I land, and I'm deciding what I can and cannot bring with me. Lots to do.

The picture is of me at a donut shop right after I got some free donuts. They have delicious donuts and coffee with free refills.

Lastly, I ate a McRib today. I'd never had one before and I figured I should do something exceedingly American before I leave.