Late July

It's almost 4am on the morning of 27 July (I've started doing that for work. It tears me up inside). I'm about 4 drinks deep, having woke up to the sound of my roommate and some friends playing music in the living room. I'd like to say I don't know why I'm writing now, but I do; I've been putting off again and I have willful to write.

I have a lot of people I've been meaning to write to as well, but I just don't get the motivation.

OK, the brief break I took to make coffee just stretched into 45 minutes. But I'm back, and with coffee and biscuits (cookies). I'm actually quite gond of the cookie/biscuit culture here. It pairs well with the coffee tea culture. I'm not sure if I've elaborated on the topic yet, but coffee here is different. And I'm not just referring to the espresso machine in my house, it's that I can't find a decent coffee shop open past like 5pm. Fuck I keep retreading old topics. Let's do this; here's what's happening in my life:

I'm still working at Salmat. It's a call center organization. I'm pretty sure I tried to avoid saying the actual company I was taking calls for in the last post, but I kind of don't care any more; I work for Foxtel, which is the only cable tv company in Australia. It's a shit job. And the worst part about that last sentence is that I said it was "shit" instead of shitty. I haven't been here 6 months, and I've picked up Australianisms. I mean, I still occasionally say downtown instead of CBD, but I've definitely picked up phrases like "how're you going". At first I actively rejected it, but I've come to the conclusion that it's the phonetically the laziest fucking greeting in the English language. Seriously. Say it out loud right now. "How ya goin'". It's just one fluid motion. It's like it's practically one word.

Actually, it's quite weird being on calls at the call center and phonebanking for the local Labor candidate. On several occasions, I've had people ask me where I was located. Melbourne. I'm in Melbourne in your fucking country. Do you honestly think things are so bad in America that Australia is outsourcing call center jobs? Nope. I'm here visiting, and relatively low on funds at the moment so I've denigrated myself to work at a call center 10,000 miles away from home.
If I'm being honest though, I don't really mind the job. The days go by quickly, and I'm fond of most of the people I work with. The pay is Australia adequate, but America good. As of yet, I have no reason to leave. There's been talk of keeping people on after the 5 month contract, but as one co-worker put it "the fact that there is an end date in sight is big reason why the job is tolerable".

I'm also volunteering for the local Labor candidate for Batman (hehehe). It feels great to be in a campaign office, and see what's going on. It's a very relaxed atmosphere at this point, which is almost a bit irritating for me. The focus of volunteers seems to be shorter here than back home, but it's technically not election season yet, so I'll have to see what happens when an election date is set. Beyond that frustration is actually a deeper insecurity about volunteering for the office. I doubt highly that this volunteer stint will present an opportunity for work, and that being the case I have a strong feeling of outsider-ness. This isn't my campaign. I have no real vested interest in the outcome. In fact, the main opposition is a group of people with whom I actually harbor some sympathy. The interesting aspect of Batman (HEHEHEHEHE) is that the Liberal party is so outmatched that they aren't even the primary opposition, it's the Greens. Many of the people on the campaign are part of Young Labor, and I just question, not their loyalty, nor their commitment, but their logic. If you don't live in the district, is it really that important that Labor maintain the seat? Sure a Green MP wouldn't caucus with Labor, but ultimately so what? They would still support Kevin Rudd over Tony Abbott. Don't get me wrong, I'll continue the work (well, volunteering) I'm doing, but under these circumstances it's difficult to get excited. That, and the general malaise of the Australian people towards politics. It just.... it's just not home.

I want to address my comedy as well. Since my last post I'm actually feeling quite good about what I've been writing. The demons that brought me to this country are finally being addressed. It's an odd sort of business. I knew that I wanted to make my comedy more personal, that was part of my sabbatical to Melbourne in the first place, but it's a different process that I expected it would be, in large part because I had no specific expectations. All I had were vague notions of "I need to leave and figure out my life". In fact, it's actually quite reaffirming that most of what I'm talking about on stage isn't about the relationship itself. The last thing I want to do is reminisce about what I had. No, the way my experience is manifesting is through the person I've become since the funeral of my old life. Like most good comedy, it's an exaggerated version of what my life actually is, through my own personal lens.

I just paused to reflect on what I've wrtten, and began to fall asleep. Perhaps 5:25 is as a good a time as any to stop. Upon edit in the morning, we'll see what happens.