Springtime for Danzorz

It's tough to know what to write about. Lot's of things go on in my life, and it's hard to know which are actually relevant. I guess I'll start with comedy:
I got into the Festival. That's actually really important news, and I'm super psyched. But also at the same time, it freaks me out badly. I'll be producing a show (self producing is still technically producing), which I've never done before. I still have to rent (they called renting "hiring" here. It's fucking goofy) a venue, come up with a title, verify visa details, and take a set of photos for the show's theme within the next 3 weeks. Oh, and beyond that, I need to write about another 15 minutes. I'm not so much worried about the comedy; I know it's mostly all there, and what isn't will come within the next 5 months. I still don't have a title yet. I've been considering something dumb like "Dan Juola Conquers Melbourne" and then take photos of me pretending to take over places American military style with lot's of spectators ridiculing. But I'm also considering being more genuine, like "Becoming Melbourne" and have a description of everything that I've been through to get to where I am, and how I feel like a Melbournian. It's less gimmicky, and there's more honesty in that title. The way I've been organizing the show is by just putting together all the bits I've been working on written on post it notes, and arranged on my wall. I've attached a picture of the process, which is neato torpedo!

Being here is certainly weird. I knew I wanted to move, but I didn't know if it was going to be permanent. Now here I am with inroads, and friends. I very much miss Minneapolis, but Melbourne has become to feel like home. I'm sure I'd leave if I had the option to stay. Melbourne is definitely will always be a home away from home now. I can't imagine this being my last Melbourne Festival.

I'm not looking forward to the extreme heat that's coming. Spring has brought variable weather, which I'm fine with. Melbournians winge quite often. I don't worry too much about it. I went to the beach yesterday. City beaches tend to suck, and while they're better than any of the oceanic beaches of Minneapolis ("Oh I see what you did there"), they still kinda suck. I'm going to have to get a job soon in order to do the festival, but I really want to travel. I may have to postpone my trips around the country due to cash. Ideally, I could get a halfway decent bar job during the day that paid under the table, but that's probably too much to ask for. Realistically, I'll just go to Melbourne Central and hand out my resume to everywhere I would even remotely consider working. I think if I work until January or February and I can get by. As long as I can get about a grand a month I can live off what I've got. I know I'll be getting tax and super annuation (mandatory retirement fund, paid by employers), so that will set me up for when I get back to the States.

I think I should include more than just scratch the surface of my life bullshit in this post. Part of why I don't write often is that I know it's just "these are random events in my life blah blah blah" that I find utterly dry and unuseful, which is apparently not a word. This sabbatical has entailed a lot of soul searching that I did not fully expect. Well, it's not that I didn't expect it, it's that it manifests in ways that are unexpected. On election day a couple of months back, I had a hard night of drinking, took a cab home, passed out, and woke up to see that I'd thrown up during the night, but hadn't woken up (gross). The first thought I had was christ that's gross I need to clean that up. But as I got to thinking about it, the more disturbed I became. That's the kind of thing that people die from. Hell, I've know people who've died that way. I could have died. While I haven't stopped drinking, it's definitely been a wake up call (which is ironic, because I didn't wake up to throw up (gross)). I mean, I've already been concerned with mortality lately, and that kind of event stares you right in your fucking face. The invincibility was a myth.

Something tells me that that last paragraph contains a very funny, very dark joke.

Embracing Different

Editor's note: I'm aware this is probably not the most complete post I've ever written. It's vague. Sorry. I'm not really. This is my blog and I'll do what I like with it.



I'm at home right now, and actually about to go to an info session for the festival, but I wanted to put some thoughts down.

I think it's very good that I did this, travel here. I doubt I'll stay here, but I think that's mostly due to visa circumstances. It's absolutely incredible that I've traveled across the world, created an entirely new network of people that realistically I have no business meeting. I never would have considered leaving home if not for events that I had virtually no control and no choice. Additionally, I think of people, friends, moving to other cities. Some go back a long way, but others are relatively new, barely beyond a year. The world is a scary place. I do not know what happens next in my life. There's a very strong pull back to Minneapolis. Very strong. But not immeasurable, and I know that I have other options, if less safe. Safety left me happy, if ignorant, in Minneapolis. In fact talking about plans other than the one I've been envisioning if quite scary.

I signed up for a story telling event next Tuesday, and that terrifies me. A lot of comic's here do story telling, and seemed like something I should try. After all, I get on stage and tell people things right? But as the event looms, I'm mortified. I was considering cancelling, or pushing back the date. I decided not to though; one of the things I want to do with my time is to try new things, things that are sometimes scary. I don't know who I am, or who I'm becoming, but I've decided it's alright if it's something a little different. And I still have a lot new experiences awaiting.

Unemployment Part: Uh.... Unemployment: the Next Part

Maybe it's sad that I've lost track of the times I've been unemployed in this last year. Or maybe it's a good thing (it's not).

The last post I started to explain where I am in life. It's very liberating to have the time to do what I want, but looming over me are great stresses. The Melbourne International Comedy Festival registration is coming up, and it's not a small feat to put together a show. Also, though I have enough cash on hand to live on for a few months, I also know that it is not infinite. Both those weigh heavy on me, but the pull to just relax and go back into vacation mode is also strong. In a lot of ways it's stronger. For example, though heavy is the shadow of the Festival, I've started reading again. Within the last few days, I've read the entire "Fellowship of the Ring", and yesterday alone, I blew through half of the "Two Towers". It's long been a goal of mine to read the Lord of the Rings, but who has the time. Turns out I do, as long as I completely skirt the responsibilities I absolutely have to finish.

I should say this isn't the a new feeling. The stress is like being in college again, but instead of papers and projects it's something that I actively want to pursue. And instead of video games, I'm reading (admittedly, fantasy) books.
I know that I'm dragging my feet on regarding the festival show. It's not even the actual work that's behind my procrastination; it's the fear of rejection. What if I apply and don't get in? Obviously, I have contingency plans, and I'm not long for Melbourne in the event my show is rejected. I mean, I didn't come here to create extra stress for myself, but I'm here, and so is it. I just worry that the rest of my life is one big ball of stress. Our culture prides itself on producers, people who create and accomplish. But that creation and accomplishment is very much tied to constant stress. The older I get the more I realize it just doesn't stop.

The thing is, the show itself is coming along quite nicely. I'm quite happy with the jokes, and even reaching 45 minutes doesn't seem like it's that much of a stretch.


I also feel like that I should talk about food, because, you know, I like to eat. I'm in love with meat pies as of late. Upon arrival, I was skeptical, maybe even a little hostile. But no longer! Guys, I am super all about pies. As my time passes in this country, I'm beginning to colour (shit, I just did that accidentally...) the picture of things I'll miss. Would I trade Pieface for Taco Bell? I'm not sure I would. But I am concerned that I won't have ready access to pies. Also Bundaberg "Rum". It's actually not really a rum. I mean, it is kind of. Well, let's put it this way, Bundaberg company sent a bottle to a rum competition with over 500 rums, and the competition sent it back. It's considered particularly white trash, but goddamn if I don't love it.

Transition

I quit my job.

That's probably the most important thing that's happened to me in the recent past, and a turning point for my trip. It seems as though the "making money" portion of my trip is, if not at a complete end, absolutely on the back-burner. It also means there's a significant (and stressful, FUCKING HOORAY) period in my near future.

I realize that I haven't posted anything in quite a while. Sorry. Go check back. I've written some things that you can look back on that hopefully I've posted. If not, well, I'll be home eventually. You can assault me for it.

There's a pull I've been feeling lately. The beginning of my trip was in a lot of ways relaxing. I recognize that it was also very stressful. My guess is because I wasn't able to accept the non-stress. One of my chief concerns upon arrival was to find work immediately. I felt the financial pinch of travelling very acutely, and was not fond of it. Even now, being jobless has a way of creating extra stress where extra stress is not needed. I know that I like to think that I'm a very stress free person. In a lot of ways I am. I like to cultivate this image, but realistically I stress out very easily. I still do not like being single. I'm not sure if that's something I've discussed at any length; I know I've talked about how the end of a relationship affected me, but I don't know that I've discussed being in a state of "single". It's not my intention to say that I'm looking for a relationship. That seems like a problematic state to be in. I also miss the relationships from back home. At the genesis of these feelings is that I've been feeling like an outsider.


And I stopped writing.
I want you all to know that what's happened, and why this post feels like it was abruptly ended. Because it did. Rather than continue a mindset I'm no longer I'm entirely in, I've opted to start another post.

Pantry Fresh: Australia

Here's the Ozzie version. I was gonna put it on Facebook, but decided against it. I'm glad you came to read it.

I was at a petrol station the other day, and they were advertising for their coffee. Apparently the coffee is sweet as, because they call it "pantry fresh coffee". So I went up to the bloke behind the counter and said "look mate, pantries aren't fresh". I mean come on, pantry fresh sounds like what a bogan offers his guests. "G'day, this coffee is heaps good- it's pantry fresh! I bought it on 25/8/2008 from Woolies! Just scrape off the mold and it's fair dinkum! Hey, are you hungry? Because I can shout you some pantry fresh bananas from 16/9/2007, gooey and delicious!"

6 Months

So, if you read my last post, I'm totally a wanker (pronounced "wanka", I believe...). I've been in this country 6 months exactly now. I don't know what I really want to write, but for some reason I feel like commemorating this milestone. It's a bit weird to get excited about. I mean, it's no small achievement for me to have left, but I didn't celebrate that milestone. I left on February 5th; August 5th came and went and I didn't even notice. Maybe it's the fact that leaving your home isn't as big a deal. I don't know. Oh, by the way, it's 9(ish) on the morning of 8/22. I work today, but not for another 4 hours. I like how I wrote that in case you were worried about me (that's right, you! The reader! 4th wall consider yourself officially busted!).
I'm beginning to feel the effects of homesickness. There are things that I just miss. I see summer going on back home and feel like I'm missing out. That's not to say that I'm not having incredible experiences here, but it does mean that I see everything on facebook and can't help feeling lonely. I know that I use this place to mope, and I am sorry for that (not really). Let's try to keep upbeat.

I'd originally had this grand scheme idea for what I wanted to post today. I'd thought that I wanted to write a list of things that I miss about home on my 6th month anniversary, one thing for every letter (I know, still a wanker), but now that I'm here it feels too depressing (and also douchy). I'm not going home soon, and I'm ok with that. I think what happens now instead is what I'd originally planned for the end of my tenure here- a non-alphabetical list of things that I really love here:

*REMOVED*

Ok, just made that horrible list and immediately regret it. And scratch that last sentence, I deleted the horrible list. Turns out I mostly like food. I guess it's mostly food that I really like?
I still have a lot of this country to see. I was talking at work about how similar this country is to my own, and my international co-workers asked how much I'd been out of Melbourne. Not much is the answer. The thought has been that I'll use the money I save here to travel back through Asia and Europe, but maybe I need to use it to travel Australia. I still want to learn how to surf. I know I can do that here in the summer, but that doesn't negate the fact that I need to go to other parts of the country. For fuck's sake I haven't even seen Sydney yet. NOR A KANGAROO! But I can't. I have to remain here to finish up the job here. It's only about 2 and half more months.

I have been doing Australia things though. I went to a footy (Aussie Football) game last weekend. The Richmond vs Carlton game. The weird thing about footy is that it's mostly a Melbourne game, and most of the teams are in the Melbourne area so people just pick a team. That's not to say that people switch. Once you have a team you have a fucking team. Mine is Richmond; Richmond was the first place I stayed in Australia when all the hostels were full. That seemed like a fitting reason to me. Anyway, I bought a team scarf, which is what people do when they support a team apparently. Richmond lost, but it was fun to go. They sell pies (meat pies) for like 4 bucks, which at a stadium is pretty fucking good. Also, $21 to get in is pretty reasonable. I may go to another game, but we'll see. The season ends in about a month.

Not probably the most interesting note to leave on. Sorry. I recognize that I don't usually end these posts gracefully. I think I'm going to go up to the tallest place in Melbourne today. I'll post a picture of it.

Mid August and This is the Best Title I Could Think Of

It's been quite a while since I posted anything on here. If you've been wondering if something has happened to me, the answer is not really. I'm still at the call center job; I'm still in the house; I'm still Ju-wallowing here down under (I BET YOU GUYS THOUGH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT, BUT I TOTALLY DIDN'T!!!). Actually, as of Thursday (uh, I think?) I will have been in Australia for 6 months exactly. Come to think of it, I was (mostly) planning on writing on that day, but since I feel like writing now, saving writing until then just seems a bit wanky. Which is a word I definitely would never have used back home. It's been a bit of a concern of mine, the whole foreign phrase thing. I've started using "mate" quite frequently. That one I'm alright with, but it's sneaky the way it slips into my vernacular. I catch myself saying shit as an adjective (rather than "shitty") a lot more often than I'd like. I don't like it. Maybe it's not so bad, but I certainly feel like that douchebag who comes back from abroad and won't shut the fuck up about it.

Actually, that last part I struggle with a fair bit. I don't know how to talk to friends/family about my trip. I'm very self-conscious about trying not to make an entirely one-sided conversation, and discussing my life here a very easy topic to ramble on about. I'm not sure how this is supposed to go. I mean, my life has been so drastically different, and sometimes the static world just keeps going in the same direction. I honestly don't mean to be a jackass. Sorry if I suck at talking about it is what I guess I'm getting at.

I want to mention that I have been writing, but I haven't been thrilled with what I've been writing. I may post what I've written, but there's a decent chance I won't. At least not for now. I tried free writing and didn't like what came out. Not because it wasn't honest, but because it was. This blog reflects what my soul in a lot of ways and I try to be open, but some doors are better left closed. At least publicly. Suffice to say that my past still haunts me more than I'd like. Let's go back to my job though.

Foxtel is fine. I'm just shy of about halfway done with my tenure. For a terrible job, it's actually quite good. Well, not the job itself, but the fringe benefits. The people on my team are great, and I don't think it would be as bearable. We're a ragtag group of (mostly) expats. We've all gone out drinking quite a few times. And not just happy hour, one or two drinks kind of drinking. Like "I missed my tram stop because well past tipsy" kind of drunk. It's quite nice to have normal people who I can just go out drinking with. I even went up to the mountains over my birthday with one of my coworkers. Which was actually quite an experience. AH fuck, I realize that the trip was actually quite worth chronicling, but I don't have the stamina for it now. I promise it'll come.

The other significant benefit of working at Foxtel is all the material I've been getting. It's a few months in and I have a series of jokes that are entirely from the experience, plus the ability to adapt others to the situation.

The comedy situation is moving in a positive direct in general. I like the think that I've got 20-25 minutes out of my experience in Australia, but realistically it's probably more like 15. Nothing to sneeze at, but definitely shy of the hour that I need before April. I know that the full hour won't be based entirely on Australian written jokes, but the more I can get out of it the better. I have to put some significant time in arrangement currently. The Post-It Notes will help (I bought Post-It Notes btw. I don't remember if I mentioned that in previous posts or not...). I know I'll get where I need to be by then. I'm also thinking about trying to get it into the Twin Cities Fringe next year and do the hour, fresh off my hour of MICF. Who's to say if that plan will ever come to fruition, but for now it's something I'm definitely thinking about.

Ok, I'm mentally crashing. It's time to stop writing. Sorry guys, I'll have to update you on my riveting life later.