Thanksgiving, and the Retirement of danzorz

Hi. (editor’s note: Hi!)
(real editor’s note: I tried dictating this edition of the blog by using Android’s voice to text, realizing that I would probably have to go back and edit. At first, it seemed like it went swimmingly; but upon later inspection, there was A LOT more editing to do, and it’s become a hassle and a half to edit. That’s what I get for taking the shortcut. Thus, this post is about a week after I actually wrote (well, dictated) it. Sorry if timing stuff doesn't work out) (also, sorry for being a shoddy writer, um, just in general)
I know I posted last night, but today's Thanksgiving and I want to talk about my day. It's 2:30am here, technically Black Friday. It's a bit ironic really, that I'm up so early in the morning yet can't go take advantage of door buster deals. Well, it's technically still Thanksgiving morning back home. Regardless, it's been odd being here. It'd be strange enough to be abroad in the northern hemisphere for than Thanksgiving, but at least the weather would seem appropriate. Not only is the holiday non-existent, but you don't anticipate how big the atmosphere of the holiday is. I mean, I just didn't realize how different it was going to be until it arrived. Don't get me wrong, I knew that was going to be different; the whole atmosphere of the weekend is off, and it starts with the weather (it's like 90 degrees out). I found myself very homesick in a way that I did not expect. I spent a few hours researching where I could find turkey. On top of searching online, I spent time just walking around the city, specifically at American companies I thought might have Thanksgiving meals find such as McDonald's, and Starbucks (look, I didn't expect Starbucks to have turkey, but I thought they might have pumpkin pie). I'd gotten to the point of giving up (and just going to Subway for a cop-out turkey sub) when I was standing outside of Melbourne Central and I remembered they have a TGI Fridays. Turns out going up the three floors to check was a good decision, because they were indeed serving turkey dinners. Never in my life have I been thankful to see TGI Fridays, but that’s exactly what happened. It hasn't been very often that I really needed an escape to home and I was able to get it. That the staff was very friendly also helped.
They had a special menu for Thanksgiving, of which there were only four items: they have the full Thanksgiving meal, including turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberries, and stuffing, and pretty much everything else you can think of; they also had pie sized for two (three slices); they had a kids meal that was just Turkey, mash potatoes and grave, and green bean casserole; and the last thing on the menu was a slice of apple pie with ice cream (designed for children). While I wanted most things in the full meal, I decided I wasn't really that hungry, and more importantly, the price of $35.00 didn't seem worth it. What I ended up getting was the children's meal of turkey, potatoes and gravy, and casserole the staff was gracious enough to let me have (it was technically only for children, and despite my boyish charm, I’m over the age of 12) for $10. While I missed out on stuffing, which I did really want, the meal was good. Surprisingly good, actually. Maybe it was the fact that I was so far away and was getting a comfort of home on a day where I really needed it, but it was incredibly satisfied by the meal, and for that, I’m incredibly grateful. And while I really did feel like pumpkin pie as well, I just couldn't justify getting three full slices. I did get a beer though (Budweiser, to be exact (hooray America!)), and felt American enough to leave a tip. I think I’m starting to really miss home.

The other thing I wanted bring up today is that I changed my name on Facebook (as noted earlier, the timing may not line up 100% on this due to editing/posting. Just deal with it; it’s too much effort to correct, sorry). For those who've known me a while, I've been on Facebook as "danzorz" for as long as I've been on Facebook, ten years now. I've liked it, it's worked out in unexpected ways, but it’s time to retire it. First, let’s talk a bit about the back-story: when I first joined on Facebook just after high school/going to college, and I went by the nickname danzorz. It was more of a handle/internet persona. Now I recognize that it was kind of nerdy to do, but it was also a nickname that I was called aloud. I carried "danzorz", and later "zorz" for a long time and I really felt like it represented who I was. But it’s long been a fading feature from who I am. I don’t want to say I no longer go by that name, but more people don’t recognize it than do.
As for the other reason I left it so long; I noticed several years back that the only way to find my profile was to search specifically for "danzorz". In other words, unless you specifically knew what to look for, you wouldn't find my profile. And if I wanted you to find my profile, I had an exact phrase to search for. That fact was exceptionally appealing when I started performing. I wanted to leave my profile open for comedy purposes, but preferred employers not to find it. One of the reasons I now feel like I should change it is that my online comedic profile has expanded, and if you google me, you find references to me as a comedian. Thus, the point is pretty much moot, and it seems smarter to just go by who I am. I’m also very tired of the "what is 'danzorz'?" question I constantly get when I meet people and befriend them on Facebook. Thus, I've made the change.


(Final editor's note: the straight dictated version is pretty funny. I may post that at some point too)

Food

Being an overweight American, it's high time I should post about the differences in foods here.

The inspiration for this post came from listening to Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet. I'd totally forgot that one of their songs was used in a Taco Bell commercial back in the day (the song is called Zombie Compromise, if you're interested) and I started opining. It's been at most like 2 weeks since I last had Taco Bell, but knowing I can't just go out and get it is the worst feeling ever. Luckily there are a few America fast food places and several Mexican restaurants that will suffice. There's McDonalds, Burger King (called Hungry Jacks here (fuck that)), and Subway practically everywhere. There's also some local fast food places that are like American fast food, slightly askew. Like a place that sold chicken sandwiches, but as if to insult me and everything I stand for, they called them chicken burgers. Not ok.) To be perfectly honest, the American fast food places here are practically the same. The sauce on the Big Mac I had was a little bit tangier, but mostly the same. I also wanted to note that food is significantly more expensive here. No $5 footlongs here though. It's $7, which is still one of the better deals. McDonalds and Hungry Jack (BK) both still have dollar menus too, but they're called like "pocket change" menus, and everything is $2 or more.

There is a lot of food around the CBD though (that's what they call downtown; it stands for "Central Business District". They also don't know the rest of the world just says downtown) There are a lot of sushi places, but they're slightly different too. While you can get a roll that has like 6-8 pieces, what most places sell are "hand rolls", which are about the size of 3 regular sushi pieces and people just eat them by hand instead of chop sticks. It's actually kind of nice, because they're also pretty cheap. You can get them as cheap as $1.50. While there's no Taco Bell, I did find a Chipotle style burrito place that was pretty good. They make small too, so it's like $5 instead of $8 every time. The chips and guac was good, too. Which is good because I am having the damndest time trying to find tortilla chips. It's like grocery stores don't have them. They have Doritos, but Doritos aren't fucking tortilla chips. It's like they're mocking me too, because they have salsa, and it's called salsa, unlike ketchup which is called "tomato sauce" (they pronounce tomato with a soft "a", like tuh-mah-toh). Oh, and I did see a place called "Taco Bill", but I haven't tried it yet. It's too close to something I love dearly.
I was told about another place near my hostel that has cheap middle east style wraps for cheap too. They're called like borcheks or something. I'll edit this post later when I find out what they're really called, but I probably won't actually do that. They have different styles, but I mostly get the lamb. In fact, most places I like to get lamb, which is good because it's pretty common here and pretty delicious. OH! Shit, I almost forgot to mention that I still have yet to try kangaroo meat, but I've found where to get it a market. What I really want, though, is to find a restaurant that serves it...

There are actually a lot of grocery stores nearby that make life a little bit cheaper, but cooking in the hostel is a bit trying. There's an Aldi about a block away and a Woolworths about 5 away. The kitchen in the hostel is large and always busy, there's no stove, and the refrigerators are always full. It's irritating, but it's enough to get by. More irritating though is that some asshole has been using my milk. And I need that milk to prepare the mac and cheese I smuggled into this country. Seriously, I had to declare that shit when I entered the country and they kinda scoffed at me declaring it...

I can't tell if things are really more expensive here or if I'm just trying to survive as long as possible on what I have saved. I also know that everyone around me is doing pretty much the same thing, so it doesn't help my cheap nature. I also think that since I still don't have a job, it's ever present in my mind that I have no money coming in.

I wanted to point out that I refuse to take pictures of my food, so that's why only the one picture (of Taco Bill).

There's probably more I have to say about food, but I just realize how much I already wrote and made myself very sad. Also, I'm getting really hungry now...